Unwritable

  • Posted on: 12 May 2014
  • By: Shawn DeWolfe

Here’s a list of excellent topics you cannot talk about when writing:

Family

Don’t write anything nice about family. Don’t write any mean about your family. Just go see a psychologist. They’re experts in helping people deal with people with family. I think there are no psychologists in Brave New World, because babies were decanted sans families.

Bad Former Employers

Bad employers are as rare and as desirable as chlamydia. I made the mistake of mentioning that “one place in town” charged $300/month for web hosting (as the time the going rate was $15/mo). One of their staff called me on it. Ironically, there were a few bad places that shook down their clients and turned out their pockets for web service and drive space. I wasn't even talking about my former employer.

Shady But Well Established Locals

A local reporter visited a journalism course at the university. There are things he could not write about that he could say to a group of students. He dished like crazy on locals: crazy politicians, weaselly businessmen, and problem people who populate Victoria.

God

I caught a lot of heat from anti-theists over last week’s post about Neanderthals having a tangible connection to some all-seeing power. There are atheists who do not think there is a god. They are rare. Most atheists are anti-theists who think there is no god, nor do they think you should think there is a god. Resolute that there is no god-- that’s fine, that's borne of rationality. Cutting people down because of their beliefs is simply wrong. Let people be wrong. Lots of smart people have proposed wholly wrong things.

A Non-Standard View On The Environment

I have learned to shut up over the environment. Believe. Disbelieve. Run around like Chicken Little. Flick your cigar at the hippies. Turn off lights. Throw a burger wrapper into a stream. Whatever. I think what we know about climate could fill a pamphlet; what there is to know could fill a library. The demon of climate change is this weird need to put things in bell jars. Species go extinct. New species emerge. Anyone who argues against climate change is an imbecile. Climate is perpetually changing. But I say that's not a side effect of Man’s sins. It’s side effect of having a biosphere. And yeah, “Man’s sins” seems to the core reason. At some point we traded the piety invested in the fate of the human soul for piety towards the planet Earth. All of the artifacts of faith are present, they’ve just been swapped to a new target wherein we can feel shame.
My view on the planet:
  • Climate change is a fixture. Every year, we get a wide swing. Every generation it swings wider. Every millennia wider still. It's how glaciers come and go. It's how the Sahara advanced in the centuries before the Industrial Revolution.
  • We need to adapt. The environment didn’t kill the dinosaurs. Their inability to adapt did. The Earth's history doesn't not have a rewind or pause button.

Star Wars

Han shot first. Vader has kids. Lucas doesn’t know about women. This is a 37 year old story and it’s been talked to death. On May the 4th, I looked at six months and two seasons of Clone Wars. I couldn’t bear to watch one of them.

The Runners Up

These are played out topics that are still getting ink for some reason; and people should not write about them.

Facebook

C’mon. Who care about Facebook? A billionaire aspie stole enough data to spark a social media empire. Tune out until the hub caps fly off of Facebook in 2017.

Twitter

Same deal as Facebook. It will last until three years after their IPO, then the massive cash out will begin-- like an avalanche. Just tune back in, in 2016 for the yard sale.

By The Way: Go Win The Lottery

This can’t be all about negatives. I can tell you how to win Lotto 6/49!
  • Buy 16-million tickets when the jackpot is above $40-million. Tickets cost $2. One third of the tickets go to the jackpot.
  • If you spend $32-million, the jackpot will go to $46-million. There wil be a 100% chance you will win $46-million for $32-million spent. As you will have ALL of the numbers drawn, you will have a share of all of the other prizes.
  • The only problems comes if someone else wins on the same week. But then, if you’re dumb enough to throw $32-million into a lottery and the listen to some guy’s blog, you have it coming.

Last updated date

Tuesday, May 13, 2014 - 01:10